As always, I just needed to sit down and discuss things on a more serious note with G.
I started with "I never thought I'd say this, but we CAN'T buy a farm!". ( All panicky and dramatic too :)
I proceeded to list off all my concerns:
-I'm scared to owe so much money
-I'm scared he's doing this just for me and won't be happy
-I'm scared it will be a giant money pit
-I'm scared I won't be able to find a real job there
-I don't think I want to board other people's horses...
Right around here he was like "??!!!???"
Apparently the boarding thing was not seriously on his agenda, where I thought it was the only way to justify the expense of a big barn and acreage. He thinks we'll just enjoy the privacy and if I get lonely/bored without riding buddies or want a bit of 'horse money', then by all means we'd invite a friend or two to board there. Being a guy, he looked at the barn, and thought 'storage!', where I looked at it and calculated I could fit 12 stalls in there lol. He also mentioned he thought I wouldn't want to be too tied down, just in case I want to take the odd contract for 'real world' work now and then, but wouldn't it be nice to have our own property and a place to keep my horses when I'm home?
Well yes, yes, it would be. I still have reservations about the cost of the particular place we're interested in, so the anxiety isn't quite gone yet, but I do like what G is planning. Who would have ever thought he'd be the one convincing me this is a good idea?
Jen had a great point in the last comments. All my worries could be solved by finding a really great boarding situation. She's completely right, of course. Sadly, there is no one boarding at home, but there are always options if you look hard enough and are willing to get creative. I shouldn't shut the door on that quite yet :)
I am happy to finish up the contract here and just take things as they come after that. I miss G and Ginger hugely, and am really, really, missing my horse time and the friends that go with it. My vacation time can't come soon enough.