Thursday, 28 August 2014

Fear

Hey guys, I've had this post queued in various forms for a while now and have gone back and forth over whether to put it out there. I like to leave G out of the blog beyond the basics, but since this
is horse related and affecting some related decisions and also probably something a lot of you deal with, here it is:

Fear

When it's not your own. It's such a funny thing and it's one thing to deal with it yourself, but then what about those around you? I can't be the only one out there with someone close to me who really worries about me getting hurt.

G is pretty much the best. Super supportive, fun, and just an all around nice guy. Being super supportive of the horses changed a lot though after I had a bit of a fall a couple of years back. It didn't help that I lost a lot of confidence that year too. I know he was seriously wondering what the point of it all was when I was struggling so much with something that was supposed to be fun. These days, he still understands how much I love the sport and would never ask me not to do something I love, but he's a lot more reserved about the whole idea. He's changed from listening to me and encouraging all my big plans, to asking how safe I will be first.

I'm not laying it all on his doorstep - my struggles with confidence are well documented here and I know he doesn't want to see me back there. This is a partnership and I can't ignore his concerns. We've obviously discussed this more than once, and he's very much concerned that I'm going to be badly hurt at some point.

Where to from here? No horse or horse related activity is ever going to be 'safe' by conventional standards. I miss my over the top, enthusiastic cheerleader and am sad that he (quietly) worries so much about me.

What we have done together is to make the decision to bring Bridget home.  A good part of the reason Bridget is here is because of G. I love her, but she's not Ginger.  However, the idea of her (small, quiet, non intimidating) makes G happy. He was very much involved in the decision making. He also made it possible to purchase her. I told you he's a good guy. I hope that having him so involved and contributing to some of my decisions is a good start and that as time goes on, we'll both be back to a good place as far as the horses go.

So, back to the original question...how do you handle those types of concerns, particularly with someone very close to you?

3 comments:

  1. I hope all goes well with G's worry, like our confidence levels i hope his worry recedes as he gets less to worry about with B's calming influence

    ReplyDelete
  2. Fear is a tricky thing!

    I don't think my husband truly understands how dangerous horses can be. He comes out to help me brush/handle my young horses but doesn't really watch me ride. He's never seen a bad wreck and in our time together I haven't had a fall (because I haven't been riding that much or stepping out of my comfort zone for the most part). I think if he truly understood he would be worried, just like G.

    I suspect that over time as you continue to have positive experiences his fears will subside. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Fear is so hard. It has to feel good that G is concerned about you in some ways, but be hard in others.

    My dad is so afraid that he's never seen me ride. Ever. Not once. Won't even look at pictures. But it was rooted in his own fear after getting bucked off and never getting back on once. I know it's because he cares about me, but I also wish he could see all the precautions I take against getting hurt - soft footing, good training, non-crazy horse, helmet, body protector. You CAN mitigate, though not totally eliminate, risk.

    ReplyDelete