Monday, 16 November 2015

Trials and Tribulations

This morning marked our visit to see Ms Ginger at the farm just outside Vancouver. I was really excited to see her, but also slightly apprehensive. Overall, I felt pretty positive I'd have a great visit and a great ride - my confidence has never been higher, and Ginger has been doing really well with Trainer M.

Part of me really doesn't want to blog/think about my visit, but the main part feels like you've all followed along this far, plus the only person judging me around here seems to be me :)

So, the minute I walked up to Ginger's paddock she was like "Oh no, not you!!" She is after all the master at reading people and could tell from a mile off I was feeling a little emotional.

Trainer M ran thorough some of the things she's done with Ginger, and hopped on for a ride. Ginger obviously likes her (she is a beautiful rider) and looked as relaxed and happy as I've ever seen her. She's done a great job, particularly as Ginger tried her best to convince everyone she was feral for the first few weeks. Pony is all about needing someone to trust before she'll work for you.

Next up, my turn to ride. Annddd, it went really badly. Poor Ginger was like "Why are you shouting at me, I am not Bridget! Please relax and don't nag" I don't really even know how to recap my "ride". Basically I walked around and felt terrible, because Ginger went from going pretty well with M , to being unsure and reactive with me from the moment I got in the saddle. I kind of froze up and got nervous, and honestly just felt horrible that I was making her so upset. M said not to worry, it's obvious we have history, Ginger just wants to be good, it's something we can work through...etc etc etc. I was just like "No. I can't. Ginger deserves better than this, it's obvious she is telling us that I am not the rider she needs right now." 

So, if she doesn't sell I am going to do my very best to find a suitable lessor for her. And on that low note, I said goodbye, gave her a big hug and a bunch of her favorite peppermint treats. Then I got in the truck and cried pretty much the whole way home. I really hate myself right now, guys. I know Ginger can be dramatic and silly, but she really wanted no part of being around me today, and it was pretty hard to hear that from her.

12 comments:

  1. Ugh, I've been in your shoes except I'm pretty sure I said "I just ruined my first horse." Don't beat yourself up over this. Somethings are just not meant to be not matter how bad we want them to be.

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    1. Thanks so much for commenting/sharing :) Bloggers are awesome!

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  2. Sometimes it just doesn't ever click for a pair. You should be proud of yourself for how hard you're working to find her the right rider.

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    1. I feel like we started off good, then it was great for a year or two, and now been sort of a downhill slide for a while now. I guess just like any relationship, the dynamics and people/horses involved change over time.

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    1. Thanks, feeling more positive about it already :)

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  4. Please don't be so hard on T, I like her! Ginger is not an easy horse and I agree with Carly - you have put an amazing amount of effort into her training and finding her the right rider. You are used to riding Bridget now, I had a heck of a time adjusting to my lesson horse Mighty after riding Apollo (I also cried and felt like the worst rider ever).

    Remember to breathe and don't be so hard on yourself. I hope you try Ginger again soon. Sending hugs! :)

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    1. Thanks for the commiserations :) Yes, super hard as a rider to go from one extreme to another horse wise, and frustrating when mentally you know what you need to do, but physically your body is just used to riding a different way!

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  5. I've had a very similar experience and I know how hard it is to not beat yourself up but it's ok!! You've done amazing things for her and she knows that, I'm sure she was reacting to you being unsure about the situation. Shes in a great place and so are you! Don't feel like you "need to make it work" with her since all you need to do is make sure you're both happy and safe.

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    1. Thanks so much for your very kind comment! I do know she was just reacting to my energy and it wasn't personal, but in the moment it's so hard not to get emotional about it :) I've got some good riders lined up here to take over the ride if need be, and Coach S has of course promised to work with us if I ever do want the ride back.

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  6. Hey- pm me- I'd like to chat about her.
    Allisonskornik@gmail.com
    :)

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