Tuesday, 10 May 2016

That Competitive Spirit

My disappointment over last weekend's show caught me a little by surprise.

For as long as I can remember, I've been THAT person. The one who truly is just there to have fun. The one who is happier with small amounts of progress than fancy ribbons. The one who, quite honestly, has more fun cheering everyone else on than competing themselves.

That person is still alive and well, but more and more, I'm seeing a new part of me; a person who wants to get out there, who wants to be competitive, wants to be better NOW, and who is impatient when things don't go to plan.
We wants it. I'm still not super hung up on winning things, but I'm much more open to the possibility these days...I am afraid I am on a very slippery slope into ribbon whoredom ;)

I'm not sure I like New Me very much sometimes! I think it's always been there, because I am super awesome at being very very hard on  myself. Otherwise, that side of me normally stays under wraps. I don't think it has made an appearance until recently simply because there was nothing I felt overly passionate about AND had the means and opportunity to pursue. Horses have always been my hobby, and I've always been interested in training my horses better and being a better rider, but perhaps in a slightly vague way - the idea was good but I couldn't see how I was going to get from where I was to where I wanted to be, and besides, no rush, I was doing alright as I was. These past few months that perspective has really changed. I have been surrounded by seriously competent riders and trainers and have been seeing things very clearly. I'm absolutely certain I want to be that good, and am 100% committed to putting in the work to get there. So maybe there are some positives to New Me after all...

7 comments:

  1. I read your previous post and then this one. I am not convinced that it's all about being competitive. If Midge had given you her all you would have been happy with 6th place (or no place) but she didn't live up to her potential and that is disappointing. And totally understandable. I admire your work effort with her and you make me want a welsh cob....

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    1. Thank you! You're completely right, I would have been happy with a decent effort. Maybe my disappointment is more a reflection of higher expectations and bigger goals than I previously had.

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  2. Teresa has a point and I think there is also nothing wrong with being a competitive person unless you let being competitive being at all costs which I don't think is you at all!

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    1. Oh no, nothing wrong with being competitive! I admire many qualities in those who are. It's just a bit of a new feeling for me to get used to (normally I am much more passive about such things) Lately along with wanting to improve myself and the pony I catch myself also wanting to show off how cool my little pony is by winning all the things :)

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  3. i feel similarly to you - and think it's somewhat of a function of all the time and energy and passion we pour into this sport. ultimately when i go to a competition, i want to demonstrate our skills to our current highest ability. when we can do that, and it's still not quite good enough to be competitive, that's ok. sorta like what Theresa said - if it was a solid effort that's usually enough to make me happy. if it's a solid effort and we win tho? that's a great feeling. somehow i suspect you and Bridget will find those awesome moments in the show ring sometime soon :)

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  4. I think that if you truly weren't competitive at all, you wouldn't show. But don't think that's a bad thing! You're really good at having fun 99% of the time, and being competitive will just drive you to become a better rider, which I know all horses appreciate :)

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